Single sigh. Double sigh sigh.. Triple sigh sigh sigh. Haiz. I think this the word that comes from me most often these few days. Sian!!! Who stole my good exam vibes sia...Mistakes after mistakes. Stupid and careless ones somemore. What have I been doing sia?!

I swear I really studied. Even idiots know that thats a fact. Buy WHY...thats the issue. Possible reasons:

1. Not enough sleep ( I had at least 7hours!)
2. Hunger ( I was a bit hungry, but I had breakfast)
3. Didnt study enough (Maybe lor.)
4. Stupidity (Maybe?)
5. Stubborness (A bit.)
6. No smart geeks in my exam vicinty for me to copy (I'm quite sure)
7. Tough paper (It sure was, but some mistakes were evitable)
8. Too distracted (Possible, but I did study)
9. Just couldn't think (Bingo!)
10. Carelessness (YES!)

There are actually more to add on to the list...but i lazy to think.
Come on, one more to go. If its still as lousy, then i'm really GG. I need an average of 4.2..come to me! I can forget about 4.5. It seems like 4.5 doesnt really like me. Sian.

I did study. I did put in the effort. I don't want to be classified in the same category as FLJW. Cos i'm different from him. And some other pple. I hope!

They say I have the character of an Air Faerie. LOL.

"The Air Faerie wants certain beauty products to make her more radiant. In return she will make your pet more swift."

Hahaha....

I slept so well last nite, that i think it couldnt be better.

Stumbled upon some photos on facebook. Not mine of cos. Noticed how some people's appearances have really changed so drastically while i still remained more or less the same. Wonder why some pple dare to do things that I don't and how they manage to get those things started in the 1st place. Opportunity and character. I won't deem the same stuff as an opportunity based on my character. I think its just sheer waste of time. Well....u cant change a person's character, so you can forget about the stuff that comes with it.

Read the same person's blog too. Sometimes I wonder if my blog is really that deserted. Maybe I brought it upon myself. I could have just informed the whole world of the existance of this La-La Land...but whats the point? You don't used to go round handing your diary to your friends and pple whom you hardly know right? Aiyo...dunno lah...its pple's character and what comes with it, isn't it?

1 week no go home le. :(

Today was my 1st paper. I rmb this was the day I had my physics A-levels too. It wasnt my 1st paper in NTU, but still I dun undstd what took me so long to fall asleep. And when i finally did, I had a bad bad dream...one of my worst nightmares ever.

I dreamt of a female ghost, long black hair covering the hair, white flowy dress, and everything else typical of a Zhen-zi look-alike. Anyway, I dreamt of her in my Hall toilet, saying this to me (I forgot if it was english or mandarin): you have come to look for me AGAIN. She was sort of strangling me or pulling me as she said that. I was struggling. I tried to shout, but no voice came out. Luckily I could still move my legs. I was kicking and struggling so violently that I finally woke up, exhausted from the ghost-human tug-o-war. I could even feel the force that had been exerted by her on me when I woke up. Everything was SO REAL! I was very scared.

The next peculiar thing that happened. My hp alarms didnt ring. I know this might be so common to others, but this is really queer in my case, but pple chose not to believe how strange it was. I was so afraid I couldnt wake up on time, thats why I set 2 alarms. These 2 alarms were the loyal ones that I have been using every single school day for the past one semester and they have NEVER failed me. This morning, BOTH DIDNT RING!!! I was very very sure, cos Qifen didnt hear them too. And if they had rang and i hadnt hear them, the alarm would have self-snoozed and rang 9 minutes later. I ended waking up at 8am instead of 7.15am/7.20am tt I have set. If my alarms did ring, I must be deaf not to hear them after like 10 times of ringing? Anyway, the timing still showed alarm set at 7.15am this morning. I found it particularly eerie esp after that ghostly nightmare I had prior to that.

So I switched off my hp during exam, and found myself not able to turn it on after exam. I had to take out the battery and the memory stick twice before it finally worked. Is my hp going to cmi soon? I hope not. Come on, Sony Ericsson, prove that you are value-for-money.

I'm so traumatised mentally. Seriously, I feel so tired now, but I'm now sleep-phobic. I'm so afraid that the same thing would happen tonight. I'm so afraid of being haunted. Goodness gracious!

Oh yeah man, 3 more days to exams. and I'm too being itchy-handed.

I have been revising BS104...which reminds me of JC bio...cos its really abt JC Bio and more. I don't understand whats wrong with NTU. Why cant they learn from NUS, SU aft the results are out? Do they really want to see us die of getting lousy grades or see us die of regretting making the wrong choices? It happens every sem and I have a hunch that its going to happen for the 3rd time!

Why didnt I SU the stupid module? It served me right for just taking 1 glimpse of the past year papers. I SHOULD HAVE TAKEN MORE GLIMPSES. What an idiot I was to make the wrong choice. Have I forgotten how much I hated bio in JC? Have I forgotten what hard time I've got memorising those bio notes? Have I even forgotten how I have never gotten beyond a B (or was it a C) in my entire JC life? So what with an A in the A-levels? It just meant that practice makes perfect. I didnt owe the miracle to the sudden boost in memory I had just before the paper. It was consistency, wasnt it?

So I have been dreaming. How can it be possible to refresh my memory of what I 've learnt in the entire 2 years within 1 semester? And now that the scope has widened such that i need to know the structures of all 20 different amino acids as a foundation, I think I really have been dreaming.

Einstein's theory of relativity. Good job, Albert. Just because i found the EE modules much more mundane and tough...just because i was landed into this course by accident...I found Bio relatively easier. It seems like I did forget all those points as mentioned above. I've really overestimated my passion and interest in the subject, let alone the knowledge and memory capacity I thot I was equipped with. And fear. Are the BS students really gonna do so much better than me? Are they really going to find papers that I find difficult, easy? What and who was I trying to prove wrong? I guess it was just myself.

Whats done cant be undone. Just try my best....what more can I do? When can the school review the SU system? Sigh.

TKK application (INSTEP)

Life is all about the unknown...the fear for the unknown. I cant believe I actually made such a daring and expensive move, but at least i thought that was a little bit helpful in getting one worry off my chest. So they did receive my application. But why identical stuff can yield unidentical results? Maybe its the way things are being carried out.

I have violated the rules. Just like law, rules are meant to be broken. But a criminal wont want to leave traces of evidence behind so that the police can nab him. I'm not a seasoned criminal, so I didn't know that. Or rather I was aware of that BUT I had to do that in order to set my mind at ease. Now its up to the person to hand the evidence over to the relevant authorities. I wonder what the consequences would be. I'm crossing my fingers that they are as patient and nice as they have sounded.

Its nothing serious. There's no need to call the police.

Chain reaction. I finally understand that, cos it happened to me. No big deal actually, just one sleepless night ---> headache and another sleepless night ---> headache and a limited sleep night ---> a tired day. I wonder what kind of night this eventually ends with.

Its gonna be exams soon! One of my last few hopes to pull up my socks and tie my shoe laces (I added in this part). Conf room is opened for studying! I can't wait to really study there...but why do I like that place so much? No place is better than my own room, with everything i need and the toilet just next door. Somehow i miss studying with her. I should be hating her right? Afterall that incident happened during the previous exams season. Argh....can't be bothered to think too much.

I'm falling sick soon! I can predict the future....its just a matter of time. I can feel the germs' ultimatum...wipeout!